Question: How can I change myself to change the perception I am having of the people around me and specifically the ones I am having negative experiences with?
First of all, you start by not labeling anything in your reality as negative. Because if you do, all you’re doing is agreeing with them and perpetuating that idea for yourself.
If someone does something that you perceive is happening in your reality or is directed at you, you are creating your version of them. You must be somewhere within your own consciousness in agreement with that idea in order to perceive it that way. We understand you have the ability to observe in a neutral sense, in an objective sense that someone can be being negative even if you’re not.
The point is you don’t take it to heart if you know it has nothing to do with you. The only reason you would feel affected by it is if you agree that it does.
For example, what is your favorite color? Blue.
If you were wearing something blue and someone came up to you and said I hate red and I hate what you’re wearing.
That makes no sense. It must have nothing to do with me. He must be crazy. He must be talking about someone else. You wouldn’t be affected by it because it wouldn’t make sense to you. You would have no real emotional reaction to it.
When you feel the emotional reaction of someone’s supposed attack, what you’re doing is getting them your version of them to reflect to you that some portion of yourself feels that way about yourself. Otherwise you wouldn’t react. You would just observe it interesting and move on with your day. If you react to it, it’s showing you some part of you actually is buying into this as true.
What do you want to do about it? So, you say thank you, thank you for showing that I was not loving all of myself. When you really start doing that, then you may start to see that someone else’s attitude toward you may change because what you’ve done is you’ve changed your version of them in your reality to be more reflective of the fact that you’re now loving yourself more wholly.
They may the real being, may still be going off and insulting everybody. But the only version of them you’ll get is the version you’ve created that is now reflective of the love you’re willing to give to yourself that you weren’t willing to give to yourself before.
This is what most of you deal with when you’re in this kind of situation. You’re afraid to look too closely at dealing with this because what you’ve been taught to fear is that what you think these other people are saying about you might actually be true. If you look too deeply, you’re afraid it might actually be true and then where will you be?
But I am telling you it never will be true. Only what you decide is true for you is true.
Anytime you find yourself feeling fearful about what someone else is saying about you or reacting to someone else’s communication at you. Understand that’s another opportunity to feel your self-worth, and believe in yourself. Understand that many times when someone comes up to you and says something that seems like an attack on you. What they’re actually telling you is they have the same fear, and they’re just projecting it on you to give you an opportunity to decide whether it’s true for you.
What you can do is be big enough to hold a space to allow them to find out whether it really needs to continue to be true for them by loving them back for showing you an opportunity to love yourself more.
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